This article originally appeared in the online version of Bubble Life
We are not designed to be able to do it all – alone. Being a present mum, domestic goddess, super business women – none of it. Super-mum is a myth and kept alive by others highlight reels on social media. When you believe you need to do it all alone, you will only end up adding stress and pressure to your life.
The answer. Ask for help. Accept help. Give help. No expectations. Create a support community.
Where do you need help in your life to ease the pressure? What tasks could someone else do for you, freeing you up to do more of the things you enjoy?
Are there tasks in your business you can automate or outsource? What tasks take you away from income generating – for me it is bookkeeping and social media! Maybe you are doing tasks which you are just not qualified or experienced to do – someone else could do it quicker and with less stress. Do you need help organising yourself or helping to think bigger picture, stay accountable or someone to simply talk with and brainstorm.
What about on the home front – could childcare help you, or reciprocal playdates. What about holiday programs or extra-curricular activities. I have always found these a great way for energy to be diverted and an outlet other than home or school. Could a cleaner help free up your time or maybe you need help in the kitchen – could a timesaving appliance help, meal swapping with friends or even buying fresh pre-prepared meals? Maybe you could invest in having someone help to organise and put systems in place in your home s it operates better. Do you need to organise your family schedules better? What isn’t working, or could work better in your home to ease your stress and free up your time?
Self-care is often what we are missing in our life. As mums we are always giving to others and rarely filling up our own energy cup. Putting ourselves last – all the time. This leads to us burning out and no longer able to give. Stop doing that. What things do you enjoy doing? What fills you up? What makes you happy? Write a list and then every week allow yourself ‘me time’ and do something on that list. Is it meditating, yoga, walking, going to the gym, reading, having a massage, getting your nails done, going to the hairdresser….what excites you, and re-energises you. Could you ask a friend to do these things with you – making sure you both do them. Even better swap babysitting with a friend so you can both have ‘me time’.
If you think about each of these areas of your life, defining what balance means to you in each.
Identifying the actions, you need to take to make the changes you need to. Seeing where you need help, defining the type of person you need to help you make the changes. These people are your support community, you may have to pay some or ‘ barter’ with others. You will have your people who you can ask for help when you need it.