This article was originally published on Kids on the Coast http://www.kidsonthecoast.com.au
As a business owner you are comfortable. You juggle finance, legal, marketing, staffing, clients on a daily basis. You do it easily – if you need to work late you do; if you need to work on the weekends to catch up you do. You tell everyone you are busy, out of control even, have so many balls in the air that you can’t stop juggling in case you drop one – left, right, left you go on. AND then you add a baby.
You try to hold onto everything that you had before, you become seriously time poor, your mind is conflicted. Your priorities in life have shifted. You stop thinking about just you and start thinking about this little being. You reorganise your life so you can be there for your baby, provide for them, nurture them, enjoy those little moments. Then life somehow gets in the way and causes conflict with this new-found identity.
While your mind and body have stepped into their new role as mother, you are often finding yourself being dragged into doing the things you did before you were mother. This potentially causes you to feel anxiety and guilt. You are stuck between the expectations others have of the old you and your new life where you have a very different priority.
How do you step into your brand new identity, while still drawing on the strengths and skills of your pre-mother self?
First you need to define your new identity for yourself. Step into that role and make the changes you need to truly become the person you want to be. Write rules, create a life plan, make a vision board or get a coach. Take all the things you still love about who you were and mash it up with the person you have become. Do whatever you need to find clarity around your new role of mum and whatever you were – business owner, career person – whoever!
Surround yourself with people who will support you and keep you both motivated and accountable. You are not being selfish. You are putting the needs of your baby and family first. You are making sure that you are fulfilled and not being left stressed and full of guilt.